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From Self-Doubt to Self-Compassion: A Story of Growth

Lisa Quinney, Counsellor for Parents, Geelong

Yesterday, something happened that would have sent me spiralling into self-doubt in the past. I was all set up and ready to run The Circle for Mums - Unwinding with Art and Sisterhood. I had the tea, the cake, the flowers and all the fun art supplies laid out on the table. After half an hour I was sure - no one is coming.

You might picture me devastated, deflated, feeling like a failure – the usual negative self-talk playing on repeat. But to my surprise, that didn't happen.

It was a moment of revelation. I realized I had grown.

Before, my internal dialogue would be brutal. "I failed," "I'm not good enough," "They don't appreciate me." These thoughts, fuelled by a misguided sense of self-worth, would completely overwhelm me.

Fast forward to yesterday. Yes, that critical voice still whispered, but it was faint. Instead, a new, stronger voice emerged: "This is tough, but what can I learn from it?"

This shift in perspective wasn't a fluke. It's the result of years dedicated to self-growth. Here are some practices that have empowered me:

  • Self-Awareness: I actively examine my thoughts, questioning them with gentle curiosity. This allows me to separate unhelpful thought patterns from reality.

  • Therapy: Talking to a professional therapist who I developed a trusting relationship with provided me with tools and strategies to manage my inner critic.

  • Self-Help Resources: I devour books and resources on personal development, constantly learning and expanding my understanding.

  • Meditation: Regular meditation helps me find inner peace and gain perspective on challenges.

  • Relationship To My Body: Learning to listen to my body's signals has been crucial in managing stress and emotions.

  • Compassion Over Judgement: I strive to approach myself and others with curiosity rather than judgement.

  • IFS Therapy: Internal Family Systems therapy has been a powerful tool for developing self-compassion, self-leadership, and self-trust.

  • CBT Techniques: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps me detach from negative thoughts in the moment, preventing them from spiralling.

  • Journaling: Writing down my thoughts and feelings is a valuable tool for self-reflection and emotional processing.

  • Honouring My Needs: Listening to my true self and prioritising my wellbeing is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.

  • Setting Boundaries: Learning to establish boundaries has been essential in protecting my energy and fostering healthy relationships.

This journey of self-growth isn't always smooth sailing. There will be days when the negativity creeps back in. But here's the best part – I recover much faster now.

This newfound self-awareness and inner strength benefit every aspect of my life, especially parenting. By being grounded and secure in myself, I can offer my children a more calm and supportive environment.

This is just a glimpse into my personal journey. If you're interested in learning more about these practices, I encourage you to join my upcoming gathering or book a 1:1 session!

Growth is a continuous process. By investing in yourself, you can create a more fulfilling and resilient life, not just for you, but for those around you.



Lisa Quinney, Counsellor for Parents, Geelong

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