The constant demands of motherhood, coupled with societal pressures and a shift in social circles, can leave many women feeling adrift. I have felt this myself for many years and know the lack of genuine connection contributed greatly to my mental health challenges. Studies show that social anxiety and loneliness are on the rise amongst mothers, particularly in the early years. I talked about this in length with Bron and Lauren in this podcast episode, if you are interested.
Last Monday, I witnessed the beauty of overcoming that isolation at "The Circle for Mums," a group designed to connect, build community, and express yourselves through creative journaling. Six fantastic mums walked through the door, united by a common thread – nervousness.
For most, it was their first time attending the circle. The anxieties swirled: "What if I don't know anyone?" "What if they all know each other already?" "What if I blurt something out?" Even I felt a little bit nervous because I didn't really know anyone. These are genuine concerns, and a testament to the bravery it takes to step outside our comfort zones and seek connection. Social anxiety is a real thing, and it can be particularly difficult to overcome when you're feeling overwhelmed and sleep-deprived.
Despite the initial apprehension, the magic of sisterhood unfolded. Laughter filled the room, tears were shared, and most importantly, truths were spoken. Stories were exchanged, experiences validated, and a sense of relief washed over us. The power of genuine connection, of realising you're not alone in your struggles, is truly transformative.
One Mum's Reflection: "I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. I feel a great sense of relief. Hearing similar challenges is so validating." This sentiment captures the essence of The Circle for Mums. It's a space to shed societal expectations, embrace vulnerability, and find strength in shared experiences.
Here are some tips to help you overcome those first-time jitters when you are thinking of coming to The Circle for Mums:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's completely normal to feel nervous about attending a new group, especially if you're dealing with social anxiety. Give yourself permission to feel those feelings.
Start Small: If the thought of a large group is overwhelming, consider reaching out to me beforehand and expressing your anxieties. I might be able to connect you with another first-timer or offer a brief chat before the session. Groups are usually somewhere between 5 and 10 people in total.
Focus on Shared Experiences: Remember, everyone at The Circle for Mums is there for the same reason – to connect and find support. Focus on the common ground you share as mothers, and the anxieties you might be overcoming are likely felt by others too.
Listen More Than You Speak: Feeling uncomfortable talking in a group is okay. Start by simply listening to the conversations and introductions. As you feel more comfortable, you can gradually participate more actively.
Be Kind to Yourself: Don't put pressure on yourself to be the life of the party. The Circle for Mums is a safe space to be yourself, anxieties and all.
Celebrate Small Victories: Acknowledge your progress! Just showing up is a big step. Every interaction, every conversation you have, is creating more self-trust in your system.
Join the next one!
The next Circle for Mums is on 3rd June at the Ocean Grove Community Hub. If you're a mum looking for connection, for a space to express yourself freely and find support, we have a spot for you.
Tickets are available here.
Go gently,
Lisa
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